Futher boob items for higher boob consciousness

In 2015 I brought you the first boob list installment: three t-shirts and one vase printed with my new and probably forever favourite motif – BOOBS.

It’s 2016 (oh, hey, happy new year…don’t fracture your foot at new year’s and you’ll probably have a better one than I had) and consequently time for a new enviable boob collection to, uh, lust after, including socks, a fancy sheer top, and a shower curtain. See, the boobs have you covered in your varying states of (un)dress.

Your socks cover your feet, and your weird little toes (not sorry, they’re creepy) but who’s to say they can’t be an emblem of yer boob love too?

Enter Etsy shop Coucou Suzette.

At this very moment the boob socks are sold out. You can still buy sassy-as-hell topless mermaid socks or naked man and lady socks, though. The world’s yer oyster.

What might help assuage your boob sockless existence is an enamel pin. Rather, a pair of enamel pins. Of what? You don’t say…

You could wear them on your lapel or your collar. Wear them all punky-like on your jean or leather jacket. I don’t care, just wear them.

Or you might not want to wear some boobages. You might just want to bathe behind them.

This shower curtain is sold by Etsy shop Bermuda, and is a fun and graphic (hehe) take on individual bathing rituals. Droopiness is a way of life, people, and it’s beautiful.

If a practical piece isn’t enough and you really want to display some boob art, may I gently direct you toward Mary Charlene’s Etsy shop?

Mary Charlene (you know, @IamEnidColeslaw of Twitter) is a visual artist, and gives us sad weird (queer) girls some levity with our dumb haircuts, outrageous shoes, and mopey posturing.

You can’t buy the turquoise-bobbed, pink-nippled lady above, because I already bought that one, but her shop is always stocked with curvy latex enthusiasts and beach-goers and the like.

No, I have no idea what you’re talking about, all of these pictures are CUTE and FUN, not DARK and DEPRESSING.

Finally, I may have discovered the Cadillac of boob shirts in Etsy seller Laurs Kemp‘s version.

It’s so good. It’s sheer. It’s elbow-sleeved. It comes in pink! It’s kinda fashion-y. I had resigned myself to a clever boob-printed t-shirt and some good styling, but this takes the fashion quotient up a few notches.

And check it out, I’m Lorze, she’s Laurs, it’s like we’re practically related.

Hey guys, if you see a (chic! it must be chic, or at least cool) boob-related item and don’t notify me of it right away, I will be super sad.

3 thoughts on “Futher boob items for higher boob consciousness

    1. Laura Post author

      If he doesn’t, there’s just no hope for him.

      (Btw this post was inspired by a friend who’s choosing an Air BnB location based on the suite having a boob pillow. Good selection criteria.)

      Reply

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